Don't ask to read something that's not finished.
Don't give someone a play to read that's not finished.
Don't listen to anyone.
Don't tune anyone out.
Don't self-produce.
Don't approach a playwright to do his new play.
Don't try to produce a playwright with no credits.
Don't trust a director with a new play when you've barely seen their work.
Don't decide to self-produce 2.5 months before you want to open.
Don't produce a play without years of workshops.
Don't produce a play with non-equity actors.
Don't lose your free performance space.
Don't lose your free rehearsal space.
Don't decide to produce the show no matter what.
Don't rehearse in your living room.
Don't ask the cast to rehearse in your living room.
Don't rehearse in cold, dank basement.
Don't ask your cast to rehearse in a cold, dank basement.
Don't keep moving your rehearsal space.
Don't start rehearsals without a stage manager.
Don't keep giving your actors new pages until it's right.
Don't trust a dramaturg you've never met in person.
Don't try to produce a play in the middle of your MFA program.
Don't get a MFA.
Don't not get a MFA.
Don't agree to do a show when you know you have a lot of rewrites to do for it to be any good.
Don't cast a show when you know you have a lot of rewrites to do.
Don't trust the director with your work.
Don't trust the playwright to be in the room.
Don't ask the director if they need some space.
Don't ask the playwright to give you notes.
Don't produce a play with no budget and no set.
Don't start a play until you know who it's about.
Don't start a play until you know what it's about.
Don't figure things out through your writing.
Don't write about baseball.
Don't write about football.
Don't write about gay night clubs.
Don't write about blow jobs at gay nightclubs after a football game.
Don't write a play with seven characters.
Don't write a play with 15 scenes.
Don't write a play that time jumps back and forth in time.
Don't write a play with seven actors, and 15 scenes, that jumps back and forth in time.
Don't write a play with a male protagonist.
Don't write a play about a white, male protagonist.
Don't try to write for people of color.
Don't try to write women.
Don't write for people like they're same.
Don't write for people like they're not the same.
Don't try to please everyone.
Don't write what you know.
Don't write what you don't know.
Don't write about cancer.
Don't write about someone dying of cancer.
Don't write about someone dying of cancer in a hospital.
Don't pull too much from your life.
Don't make everything up.
Don't write a character that just shows up for five minutes.
Don't ask an actor and teacher to take a part when their character is barely on stage.
Don't make it too crude.
Don't make it too funny.
Don't make it too serious.
Don't expose yourself.
Don't take a risk.
Don't risk embarrassing yourself.
Don't apologize.
Don't not apologize.
Don't ask for favors.
Don't ask for more favors.
Don't get out of bed.
Don't fall asleep.
Don't do theater.
Don't tell a story you're passionate about.
Don't get blown away by your director.
Don't get blown away by your actors.
Don't get blown away by your sound designer.
Don't get blown away by the support of your friends and family.
Don't watch a new play.
Don't watch a new play by a playwright you've never heard of.
Don't watch a new play with actors that aren't famous.
Don't watch a new play at a comedy theater.
Don't.
Or just do what you want. Fuck it.
-RPD
Moraine opens Sunday, March 29th at 2pm.
Preview Saturday, March 28th at 8pm.
Don't give someone a play to read that's not finished.
Don't listen to anyone.
Don't tune anyone out.
Don't self-produce.
Don't approach a playwright to do his new play.
Don't try to produce a playwright with no credits.
Don't trust a director with a new play when you've barely seen their work.
Don't decide to self-produce 2.5 months before you want to open.
Don't produce a play without years of workshops.
Don't produce a play with non-equity actors.
Don't lose your free performance space.
Don't lose your free rehearsal space.
Don't decide to produce the show no matter what.
Don't rehearse in your living room.
Don't ask the cast to rehearse in your living room.
Don't rehearse in cold, dank basement.
Don't ask your cast to rehearse in a cold, dank basement.
Don't keep moving your rehearsal space.
Don't start rehearsals without a stage manager.
Don't keep giving your actors new pages until it's right.
Don't trust a dramaturg you've never met in person.
Don't try to produce a play in the middle of your MFA program.
Don't get a MFA.
Don't not get a MFA.
Don't agree to do a show when you know you have a lot of rewrites to do for it to be any good.
Don't cast a show when you know you have a lot of rewrites to do.
Don't trust the director with your work.
Don't trust the playwright to be in the room.
Don't ask the director if they need some space.
Don't ask the playwright to give you notes.
Don't produce a play with no budget and no set.
Don't start a play until you know who it's about.
Don't start a play until you know what it's about.
Don't figure things out through your writing.
Don't write about baseball.
Don't write about football.
Don't write about gay night clubs.
Don't write about blow jobs at gay nightclubs after a football game.
Don't write a play with seven characters.
Don't write a play with 15 scenes.
Don't write a play that time jumps back and forth in time.
Don't write a play with seven actors, and 15 scenes, that jumps back and forth in time.
Don't write a play with a male protagonist.
Don't write a play about a white, male protagonist.
Don't try to write for people of color.
Don't try to write women.
Don't write for people like they're same.
Don't write for people like they're not the same.
Don't try to please everyone.
Don't write what you know.
Don't write what you don't know.
Don't write about cancer.
Don't write about someone dying of cancer.
Don't write about someone dying of cancer in a hospital.
Don't pull too much from your life.
Don't make everything up.
Don't write a character that just shows up for five minutes.
Don't ask an actor and teacher to take a part when their character is barely on stage.
Don't make it too crude.
Don't make it too funny.
Don't make it too serious.
Don't expose yourself.
Don't take a risk.
Don't risk embarrassing yourself.
Don't apologize.
Don't not apologize.
Don't ask for favors.
Don't ask for more favors.
Don't get out of bed.
Don't fall asleep.
Don't do theater.
Don't tell a story you're passionate about.
Don't get blown away by your director.
Don't get blown away by your actors.
Don't get blown away by your sound designer.
Don't get blown away by the support of your friends and family.
Don't watch a new play.
Don't watch a new play by a playwright you've never heard of.
Don't watch a new play with actors that aren't famous.
Don't watch a new play at a comedy theater.
Don't.
Or just do what you want. Fuck it.
-RPD
Moraine opens Sunday, March 29th at 2pm.
Preview Saturday, March 28th at 8pm.